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The Wonder Years   
06:32pm 25/07/2005
  Remember the show "The Wonder Years" ? Remember the cute little girl whose character was named Winnie Cooper?

The actresses name is Danica McKellar. Now, normally (as you may have figured out) I don't think that age does anything for a woman's beauty or sex appeal. And "Winnie Cooper" was about as hot as they come, IMHO.

But, man, did she ever grow up good! Check out the July 2005 "STUFF" magazine - she did a six page spread in there that will leave you panting. Age has been really good to her, and hasn't diminished her hotness at all.
Now, here's the other side of the coin   
07:13am 24/07/2005
  OK - my last post I rambled on about how I like contrast. Now this one is about why does there have to be contrast?

One reason I seperated my journals is because I realized that when people read someone's journal, they categorize. LJ (and every other blog site) help by giving us categories to put our interests in - even if our interests are diverse, we read and still put people into categories. Like "perverts" or "religious" or "kids" or "folkies" or whatever.

Why do we have to categorize? I'm more than one interest or category. I really get off on spanking females! Yet, I'm not that big on sex. I like casual encounters, but I also like relationships with people. I have some definite religious beliefs but I don't go to church. I care deeply about kids, but I also lust after schoolgirls. It's all different, yet it's all the same. I'm complex - yet that should be pretty simple to understand. We all are.

I had to hide the interest in younger girls from someone lately who inquired about my perverted side. I hate having to hide things, but at the same time I understand the necessity. For the record, I really don't consider myself that much different than most guys - every guy I know drools over younger girls. How much younger varies between individuals. I draw the line at toddlers, myself. (that's a JOKE - the line is a little older than that!) Seriously, though - as much as I like power play I don't believe in forcing myself on anyone - each person determines when and if they are ready to play and when and if they want to. I've known sexually active teens and celibate 30 year olds, and some of each group could handle it, and some of each group couldn't.

The physical beauty of youthfulness is something many admire, but I also admire the wisdom that comes with age, when we learn to look at each person as an individual who is as complex as they are simple. The best sex is always in the mind, and a good mind is attractive at any age. It's a shame most don't embrace that until they are older, though.

A mature person can appreciate beauty without wanting to fuck it.

A mature person can appreciate a game without wanting to play it.

A mature person can appreciate sexuality without obsessing over it.

A mature person can appreciate diversity without exploring every avenue.

A mature person understands rules and when to follow them.

A mature person understands issues that run deeper than rules.

A mature person understands the importance of freedom and tolerance.

A mature person understands the importance of knowing their own limitations.

I'm so tired of the conservative mindset, because to me it REEKS of others imposing their own appreciations and understanding on everyone. To me, the liberal ideal embraces an expectation of personal responsibility, an expectation of privacy, an expectation of tolerance, and an expectation of self-improvement. Liberals nurture, while conservatives administer.

I am who I am. Do not condemn me because of who you think I am, because I am more than your thoughts.
Now, I like more than one thing......   
04:06am 23/07/2005
  While having a younger girlfriend rocked, that's not to say I don't like girls of all ages - even of all types. I guess that past all of the things that I like and don't like, and desire and don't desire, what really makes a relationship click for me is contrast. I'm tall, I like shorter, or sometimes taller. I'm old (or feel like that, anyway) and I like younger. While that principle isn't as strong with race, it's still there. Seems there's a certain element of the "contrast" idea at play pretty much anytime something turns me on.

Along those lines, some who consider themselves Dom/toppy/whatever get into having girls/subs/slaves who are in control at all times - you know, the ones that can take unlimited pain and never make a sound or cry.... heads up: That ain't me. I love the contrast of control/no control. It's a great turn on to have a woman crying, even blubbering - while I'm cool and calm. Of course, I know and she knows she's given up control willingly - but it's still a contrasting dynamic.
Here's the Deal:   
01:45am 19/07/2005
  A couple of years back, I had a girlfriend. A real life girlfriend, not just online. She was 17, I was 39. It was fucking awesome.

Not just having a younger girlfriend, but her vibrance, the fact that she wasn't yet so fed up with life.

We went our seperate ways for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are in different countries. Yes, I still miss her - always will. That particular pain has subsided though - what I really miss now is having a young girlfriend. They make you feel young again, and feeling old really sucks.

Wish there were more girls around that liked older guys. Any takers?

(extra points if you're into bdsm and all things kinky)
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Danger Will Robinson! Danger!   
09:34am 14/07/2005
  LOL - ok - here's the deal:

I've decided to split up my livejournal into two (or maybe even more) journals, because the thought occurs to me that the people that care about my kinky side don't really give a fuck about my serious side, and vice versa. More importantly, I can't handle the inherent schizophrenia of it all. Fact is, while I'd love to find people who really cared about ALL of my sides, I don't know a single person that's as multidimensional who keeps it all in one journal. Now they may only keep one journal and hide the other sides from people, but no one wears all their faces in public.


As I'm able to get it sorted out, posts prior to this may disappear. This is gonna be my perv journal. I'm going to transfer just to one other anonymous journal for now, but later on I'll probably fragment my life into kink, serious stuff, and music. Probably will be a little overlap, but sex and music are my favorite topics, and reality is what I deal with - so those three will pretty much cover it all.

I'm telling the present and future readers of this journal all this so that they know that there's more than what you see here, if that matters to you. Just because I'm not going to ramble on about music or philosophy or reality - doesn't mean I don't have any interests there.

Anyway - if you wanna know anything - just ask.
Life Goes On.   
02:37pm 12/07/2005
mood: Surviving
Had a family get-together yesterday. God, my niece is so cute! Maybe I'm just partial, but if I weren't her uncle I'd be after that! We traded email addys, so that'll have to keep me satisfied, I guess. Who knows - maybe I will try to get in her pants. You only live once.
I got a new favorite song!   
02:11am 03/07/2005
  Someone needs to record and/or finish "I'm a gonna go to hell when I die" by Conan O'Brien. I want a recording of it when they do!  
Message In A Bottle....   
10:05pm 30/10/2003
mood: tired
I wish I had a bottle - I wouldn't put a message in it though - I'd fill it up with Limon and sweet & sour and I'd empty it, if'n ya get my drift.

No, no SOS to the world, actually just a short post to let my imaginary friends in cyberspace know I'm OK - have been pretty busy with work but underneath this hard-working exterior beats the heart of the same old me.

Time to go abuse myself. See ya later!

Life is Hard   
09:45pm 27/10/2003
mood: sad
Since my last entry, much has happened. I actually deleted the account that the previous entries were posted under, and reposted them under this journal. It's a long, convoluted, and difficult story to tell. Let's just say that my presence and my carelessness brought pain to someone I loved, and started a vicious cycle of pain.

I'm aware that I'm basically an unhappy person, but I do find happiness in life - among loved ones, among music, in my job, in the little joys that are part of the world we live in. Still, many things bring about unhappiness, sadness, hopelessness. I guess it's a mental illness of sorts, but that's another story.

All of this is to say that, I guess my life has changed in a way. I'm still committed to the idea of keeping this journal. Maybe someday I will let others read it - maybe not. Mostly, it's just here for me to have a place to get things out of my system. I know, though, that I have to censor even what I say, because even the closest of friends can be hurt or offended if I don't.

It's a damn shame I can't just be myself. I guess myself isn't good enough to exist without self-censorship. That hurts. It hurts to know that you're not good enough to be yourself for the world.

No one ever said life was going to be easy, though. Life is Hard.
Great Books, part one   
06:29am 21/10/2003
  Harmful to Minors - Judith Levine: Unvarnished Truth

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex
(But Were Afraid To Ask) - David Reuben: Hey - it's a classic!

Different Loving - Gloria Brame: The Old Testament of Kink. Write your own New Testament.

(edited 7/14/05)
Am I the first person ever to be confused by livejournal?   
10:23pm 19/10/2003
mood: distressed
OK - I'm really feeling the urge to get my live journal going - I downloaded this semagic thingie, and will attempt posting this using that. See? I'm already confused.

Anyway, after much editing, I've got my picture uploaded - guess which penguin I am? It took a LONG time to figure out how to get a style a liked, and how to get this picture thingie to work - still not sure it's how I like it. Oh well - I'll keep trying.

Is there anybody out there?

(Here am I, sitting in a tin can - far above the moon...)
I have arrived...   
12:52pm 21/09/2003
mood: confused
I'm not really sure where the hell I am, but I guess you could say I've rented this place but haven't moved in yet. I can't even find the light switch, much less the bathroom. Where the hell is welcome wagon when you need them?

I'm sure this will all make better sense soon. Maybe even I will - if you're lucky.